


Wildfire

by hellcsweetie



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: 8x16, F/M, Fluff, Pre-Canon, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29861016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellcsweetie/pseuds/hellcsweetie
Summary: She can't explain what it was, or even what it made her feel, but she just knew that could very well be the minute their whole lives changed forever. And so she just stepped back, making space for him to decide, showing him that if this was it, then she was here.And he stepped forward.
Relationships: Donna Paulsen/Harvey Specter
Comments: 7
Kudos: 19





	Wildfire

**Author's Note:**

> This starts at the end of 8x16. It's very scary to write this scene because I feel like no words can do it justice - I think I'm far from doing it justice, and like I fell very short, but oh well, at least it gives us another opportunity to dream about this moment.
> 
> The quote at the start and the bit where she sits him on her bed and takes off his tie and shirt were generously provided by Isa, which I'm very thankful for.
> 
> Hope you like it :)

_“I burned so long so quiet you must have wondered if I loved you back. I did, I did, I do.”_

\- Annelyse Gelman

*

She thought she'd lost everything.

She hadn't spoken to Thomas again but she was convinced they were through after their conversation that morning - after she all but admitted she was tethered to Harvey and might always be, and their relationship might be doomed from the start.

Harvey was likely to be disbarred, seeing as to the best of her knowledge no one had been able to come up with a solution. He was going to lose his entire career because of her and she'd been sitting at home, too afraid to watch his entire life come crumbling down because of something she did.

She had no clue what would happen next, where they'd all be the next day. She couldn't even think straight, spending the entire day beside herself with guilt and anxiety, wanting to know the result of the hearing but too scared of the answer.

And then she heard the knocks on her door, startling her out of her wine-and-unread-book stupor. At first she thought he was here to tell her about the hearing, or to do literally anything other than what he ended up doing. But then she saw his shoulders drop, his head shake minimally around a sigh, and something in his eyes seemed nuclearly changed.

She can't explain what it was, or even what it made her feel, but she just knew that could very well be the minute their whole lives changed forever. And so she just stepped back, making space for him to decide, showing him that if this was it, then she was here.

And he stepped forward.

She's never felt anything quite like it, the feeling of having an out-of-body experience, of feeling his touch and his taste and his smell and still firmly believing this couldn't possibly be real. And yet, every kiss and slide of his palm down her back brings her closer to him, at the same time as it shoots her further out into space.

It feels strangely comforting to notice Harvey seems just as overwhelmed, almost not knowing what to do; his hands burn a path on her skin even as they roam somewhat aimlessly, as if he can't decide where to touch first. Their mouths meet and miss each other, kissing cheeks and necks and chins instead. She wants to close her eyes and jump, lose herself to sensation and his taste, at the same time as she wants to commit every second of this to memory because _finally_ , he is finally here, and whatever they spent fifteen years building is finally ready to be set free.

She's relieved to realize her desire for him, her love, her absolute conviction that this is where she is meant to be still blazes within her like wildfire, powerful and unstoppable and just as strong as it's always been. She may have wanted to cut him out of her just this morning but now all she wants is to pull him in and let the fire consume them.

Her insides are bubbling, relief almost suffocating her, and while he's kissing and tasting her all she can think is _Thank you_ to everything and everyone who was responsible for this moment. She's well aware of how close they came to never having this, this thing that's barely started but already feels like forever, and she vows not to let it go to waste.

It's when she feels him rock hard against her and realizes she's just as ready, feeling herself slick and hot, that she thinks she really needs to take the reins or they'll end up having their first time after so long on her hallway table, which is not at all what she wants. 

So she takes his hand and leads him to her bedroom.

For all that Harvey is dominant and self-assured, when she turns around to face him he looks completely lost. She wants to see him in charge, wants to know what he'd like to do to her, but she's okay with taking the lead tonight because _she_ has certainly spent the last decade dreaming of what she'd like to do to _him_. They can do it all some other time; right now she just needs him.

So she kisses him again, more purposeful, urgent, because they had their moment in the hallway but this is where it all starts. His hands are back on her body, not taking charge but certainly not idle either. He's as hungry for her as she is for him and she once again thanks the Heavens for this, barely believing it's really Harvey.

She pulls him further inside the bedroom, turning them around and pushing him down to sit at the edge of her bed. His hands find the side of her thighs, snaking up her hips and her torso, and she watches his face, his slightly knit brows and parted lips, a bit swollen from their kisses, neck flushed. He looks just as awestruck and grateful as her and it makes her throat clog up a little, the enormity of this moment not lost on either of them.

But she doesn't want to get sidetracked, doesn't want to spend one more minute apart from him than she has to. She kisses him again, mouth open and searching, tongues tangling messily as she braces on his shoulders and straddles him, knees bracketing his hips. She sinks down onto him, feels his erection against her center, her desire probably seeping through her panties and her silk pants but she doesn't care.

Her fingers find his tie and are finally successful at untying it, deftly pulling on the silky fabric. She likes this tie, has fixed it many ties, and now it's about to lie on the floor of her bedroom by some cosmic twist of fate.

She moves to his shirt next, grinding further into him to ease the beating need inside of her. They both gasp at the sensation before she starts unbuttoning the garment, hurrying as much as she can to finally get him rid of it. His teeth find the sensitive skin of her earlobe and tug on it, causing her to whimper and circle her hips in retaliation right as she finishes the buttons and untucks the shirt hastily.

Her breath catches in her throat when he starts moving his hips as well, grinding into her as she pushes the fabric off his shoulders and away from them, palms eager to touch his skin, feel his muscles shift. It's after a particularly hard grind that manages to tease her clit and elicit a moan from her that Harvey's hands find her hips in warning.

"If you don't stop that this will be over very quickly," he murmurs between pants, and she thinks this will be over very quickly regardless, but she doesn't say it. Instead she leans away a little and pushes him back, laying him on the bed. She climbs off him quickly, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down hurriedly as he raises his hips off the mattress to help.

He's still wearing shoes and she's out of her mind with want, so she barely thinks before kneeling down between his legs and pulling the shoes off him. He sits up, seemingly surprised and about to object, but she's faster, ridding him of his socks and pulling his pants the rest of the way. She gets up and shimmies out of her own pants in one swift movement, entirely fueled by desire, and then Harvey pulls her in, sliding her top off with his hands.

He brings her to the bed, encouraging her to lie down as he turns to crawl over her. A thrill runs down her spine at the fact that he's taking over, stripping her of her bra and panties quickly. He kisses a trail down her neck and chest, taking her nipple between his lips, and she wants to enjoy everything with him but she really cannot wait anymore right now. "Harvey, please," she pants, fingers tightening around strands of his hair, desperate.

He understands her plea and lines himself up, finally thrusting smoothly into her. He feels so unbelievably good, stretching her deliciously, and she's already so close to the edge that she almost comes from that alone, mouth falling open around a gasp, eyes shutting tight and back arching off the bed.

He stills, letting her adjust, and she was ready and so drenched there was barely any friction as he entered her but she still appreciates the moment, feeling completely full with him. Her breathing starts to normalize and she relaxes a little, falling back to the bed and opening her eyes. She finds him watching her, concentrated, waiting for her permission to start, so she wraps her legs around his waist and her fingers around his hair, giving him the go-ahead.

He pulls back and thrusts again, somewhat slowly, once, twice. She catches his eyes and notices they're glimmering, his jaw clenched, possibly to keep himself from plunging further into emotion, and her heart swells, beating stronger just for him. The enormity of the moment cuts through the fog of arousal and she realizes once again that this is _Harvey_ , in her bed, in her arms, in her. The man she's waited for, dreamed about.

The love of her life.

Her eyes well up as well and she tightens her hold on him, keeping him close. It takes him no time to speed up and once again she doesn't mind, doesn't need drawn out and teasing, she just wants them to be able to live this moment to its fullest extent, no holding back. His hand finds her neck, cupping her cheek as he drives into her, faster and faster. Her fingers wrap around his wrist, thumb stroking his skin. Their faces are close, foreheads touching. Their gazes stay locked, staring deeply into each other, and their noses and lips brush, not properly kissing, just searching for more touch, more connection.

She feels every millimeter of touching skin, at the same time as she feels barely able to keep track of what's happening, her lungs burning despite her heaving pants, her mind and heart overflowing with more emotions than she can even name, and through the cacophony in her mind the only thing she sees clearly is him. Harvey. Here. Hers. _Finally_.

He starts grunting in a strangled way that tells her he's close, and his jaw locks, brows creased in concentration, and she loves him so much. Her thumb caresses his jaw and she whispers, "It's okay, let go."

His eyes screw shut and his head falls to the crook of her neck, burying itself there as he thrusts one more time and comes with a deep moan. The feeling of him letting go, spilling inside of her, brings about another wave of emotion and her eyes fill up again. He's not even done with his orgasm yet when he snakes a hand between their bodies to tease her clit clumsily, thrusting sharply a couple more times with what she presumes is all the strength he has left. The moment is so much, so big, that that's all it takes. She's coaxed over the edge by his touch and his soft kisses on her neck.

He keeps teasing her as her core contracts and releases, waves of pleasure crashing again and again and for a moment she can't see or hear anything, just feel the way her body responds to him.

Eventually she comes back to reality, goosebumps spreading through her body as his hand caresses her waist gently, softly. His lips trail up her cheek before his nose nuzzles into the side of her head and this, more than possibly everything they just did, reassures her that this isn't just some lust-filled moment hidden away from time and reality for him. This is more.

Harvey finally exhales and climbs off of her, making her bite her bottom lip in light mourning of the loss of contact. He doesn't go far, though, lying right next to her, bodies still tightly pressed together. Donna turns her head to look at him more properly and he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, still looking at her with the same wonder she saw mere minutes ago.

"That was kinda quick. I'm sorry," he murmurs quietly, sheepishly, thumb stroking her face, and she'd laugh if he didn't sound genuinely embarrassed.

"We waited long enough," she simply murmurs back, completely sure that this was far from the last time they'll get to do this.

"We did," he finally concedes with a tiny smile. She takes the hand that's resting on her jaw and brings it to her lips, closing her eyes as she kisses his palm, little pecks designed to transmit all the emotion she doesn't yet know how to express.

He seems to understand it all, because he doesn't say anything, just watches her as she gives his palm one last peck and slides it back to her cheek. Her eyes stay closed, taking the moment in, as his thumb traces her lips, the tip of her nose, her cupid's bow. His touch is so light and infused with love she feels like she could weep, for the umpteenth time tonight. This feels completely surreal, completely impossible and completely inevitable at the same time.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers after a while.

Her eyes flutter open at that, admiring his mussed hair, the lines on his forehead and around his eyes, the moles above his eyebrows. "So are you," she whispers, and she thinks at some point looking at him will get old, but it hasn't yet. She traces every inch, his chocolate-brown eyes, his sharp jaw, his lips, a little raw from their activities. He really is beautiful.

He watches her in silence for a moment and she notices his face sobering up a little. Her stomach flutters in anticipation of what he might say.

"This isn't like last time."

It shouldn't make sense, but it does. This _isn't_ like last time. He's not leaving. They won't sweep this under the rug. They don't have to pretend like the other's touches aren't lighting their skin on fire and like laughter didn't come a bit too easily, or like the sound of the other moaning their name isn't the most beautiful thing they've ever heard. Nothing will get put out of their minds. They'll spend the rest of their lives recreating this moment and creating many others. This wasn't another time; this was the first time of forever.

"I know." Because she does. There is likely to be some sort of conversation at some point, but she doesn't need it right now. Right now she just needs this.

So she leans forward and kisses him again, less hurriedly this time, more exploring, focusing on the taste of his tongue, the feel of his lips on hers. He rolls on his back and pulls her on top of him so he can deepen the kiss, hand finding the back of her head to keep her close. She brushes the roof of his mouth, tugs on his bottom lip, sucks on his top one. He returns the attention, fingers stroking her hair tenderly as he angles her head to kiss her more deeply.

They've been yearning for over a decade and despite how good the first round was, she can feel her body already responding to his chaste ministrations, getting tingles from the way their tongues tangle languidly, and chills from how his index runs feather-light from the base of her spine to her neck.

Donna intensifies their kiss, becoming hungrier for him. She parts her knees to frame his right leg and moves her hips, rubbing herself lightly against his thigh. It doesn't take long for him to see where she's going with this, and he indulges her a few more minutes before flipping them again. He goes slower this time, sucking on her pulse point, licking and biting his way down. His hands find her breasts, kneading them languorously, thumbs teasing her nipples with consistent circles.

He peppers kisses down her sternum, hands still working her as he moves downwards, lavishing her stomach with pecks and sloppy smooches. Her eyes stay on him the whole time, biting her bottom lip as she watches him worship her body, his face descending along her torso as it comes closer to being between her legs and this view right here is something she dreamed of more times than she can count.

He finally reaches her thighs and her stomach flutters in anticipation, her hand finding his bicep and caressing it absentmindedly as Harvey nibbles gently on her inner thighs. He takes his sweet time, reaching everywhere but where she wants him to be. The initial uncontrollable fire of desire has been put out and what's left is a constant simmering, a hum, a slow buildup that he makes sure to stoke as he blows on her mound, holding her knees apart.

By now Donna can feel her sex pulsing again, desperate for him, and she sighs in relief when he finally wets his lips and gives her a soft stroke with his tongue. She feels a rush of liquid heat flood her and he strokes her again, probably tasting it as he adds some pressure, his tongue disappearing between her swollen folds. He laps at her slowly and gently, like he's having ice cream, and the thought combined with the ripples of pleasure he's sending through her body make her snicker deliriously.

Harvey captures her outer lips between his, sucking artfully as the pressure inside her increases. She runs her fingers through his hair blindly, nails scraping his scalp and moans escaping her as his tongue teases her entrance shallowly. He curls the tip, caressing her front wall, and her hips buck upwards as she lets out a strangled whimper.

"Harvey," she breathes out pleadingly, mind spinning, hair clinging to the back of her neck, throat raw. She feels one of his hands leave her thigh and, when she manages to open her eyes and look down at him, she sees him stroking his now fully hard cock, probably to relieve pressure, while his other hand caresses her skin softly.

She almost tells him to stop and fuck her again but then his tongue moves to her clit, finally, and she cries out, the sensation beyond anything else in the world. He alternates swirls and flicks and strokes, all while touching himself, and Donna's head falls back to the pillow, eyes shutting tight and face contorting in pleasure. She doesn't hold back, moaning and sobbing and letting out all that the weight of the moment prevented her from letting out the first time around.

His other hand finds her leg again and he spreads her wider somehow, his tongue relentless and she's only vaguely aware of how much noise she's making until he sucks hard on her clit and she falls, her insides contracting and her breath coming in waves. 

Harvey leaves soft kisses on her mound, her thighs, her stomach, as she comes down from her high, before leaning back on his knees. Initially she doesn't notice him just sitting there, watching her, but after she's more or less recovered she opens her eyes and finds his gaze more serious than she'd expect.

"What?" she murmurs.

He frowns lightly for a moment before shaking his head a little. "Just doesn't feel fully real."

He's stark naked and rock hard, she can still feel her orgasm coursing through her veins, and yet she knows exactly what he means. It's almost hard to believe they are really here after so many years, so many missed opportunities, so much pain. It almost doesn't feel possible but at the same time it feels like their whole lives they've been slowly approaching this very moment, like asteroids on a collision course, drawn together by gravity.

She leans forward, getting up on her knees and pushing him back gently until he's sitting on the bed. She straddles him and takes hold of his base, pumping him a few times before she gets closer to him. "But it is," she whispers almost against his lips and ducks her head to capture his mouth as she lowers her hips a bit, sliding the head of his cock between her folds.

She's still soaked from her peak and the insatiable need for him and he glides easily against her, and Harvey's barely keeping up with her kisses even though they're relatively chaste. Feeling ready again, she holds him in place and finally sinks onto him, savoring the muffled moan he lets out at that.

There's an intimacy at being joined like this, bellies and chests touching, faces close, not an inch of space between them. It's different from the intimacy they've been sharing all this time, but it feels like it complements it perfectly.

Donna looks deep into his eyes before pushing up slowly and sinking again, watching as his eyelids flutter at her move. She repeats the motion, keeping a steady, unhurried rhythm. She wants it slow now; she wants to be able to see the effect she has on him manifesting itself in his eyes, the twitch of an eyebrow, the press of his fingers. She wants to drink in all his little details, the clues that spell his feelings for her, and she wants to give him the same access to her. Everything they've done tonight has been intense, from holding hands to his tongue thrusting into her, but she craves more. She wants to truly be one with him.

Harvey looks completely surrendered, hands gripping her lower back, holding her to him. He ducks his head occasionally to catch a nipple or lick her skin whenever she rises, but mostly he just keeps his face glued to her neck, breathing hard against her. She's mainly doing all the work but she doesn't mind, just relishes the feel of him stretching her, the friction between them, the tingling that's spreading across her limbs and down her spine. They pant in unison, him into her cleavage and her into his ear, and it's hot and sweaty and agonizingly slow.

She wraps her arms around him, hands cradling his head like they've been doing most of the night and bringing him impossibly closer, deepening their connection even more. She wants to explode, to burn up, wants him inside her forever because this feels completely perfect, complete addictive. All the longing and not knowing paid off completely, more than she could have possibly imagined, and the way he's clinging to her as if for dear life shows her he feels the same.

Eventually she picks up speed, her clit throbbing and pressure coiling in her lower belly. He tightens his hold of her and leans forward, causing her to steady herself with a hand on the bed behind her. The new angle is perfect, allowing him to hit all the right spots, his pelvic bone rubbing against her bundle of nerves and she whimpers, speeding up. She's out of her mind with want, one hand grabbing the sheet as the other claws at his side for extra support.

He's strong and steady and completely gone, grunting into her, his muscles shifting beneath her touch. It hits her once again that it's _Harvey_ , and they're not just fucking but also making love, that he stripped her and kissed her and sucked her and did so much of what she believed for years was impossible, and he did it all with a look of profound love in his eyes. The certainty that this is _more_ surrounds them like an energy field, and she doesn't even know what exactly more entails but it's what she wants. Whatever this feeling is, it's what she wants, what she's wanted all her life.

"Fuck," she gasps, "I waited for this for so long." It's not a confession she planned on making just yet but she doesn't regret it.

He groans, mouth latching onto the juncture between her neck and shoulder and sucking. "I did too," he gasps, their bodies moving in synchronized abandon.

She speeds up an extra notch and feels the current building inside her steadily. "I just want you, Harvey. Only you."

His fingers dig into her skin. "I'm yours."

She comes, her whole body trembling and her core clenching wildly around him, squeezing him tightly and bringing him deeper as she whimpers softly in his ear. He comes almost immediately after, jerking into her a few times until he's completely spent.

He straightens up, bringing her with him so she can regain her balance, and she slumps into him, gasping for air. The part of her that can formulate semi-coherent thoughts loves that they're still pressed together, essentially hugging, skin sticky with perspiration.

They wait in silence until they're recovered, his hand running up and down her back tenderly and causing her chest to constrict. She feels loved and protected and it's such a far cry from how he's made her feel before but it's also the very essence of how he's made her feel this whole time. Eventually he pulls away a bit and she follows, eyes meeting. Harvey frames her jaw, hands warm against her face, and she looks down into his gaze, getting lost for a second in the sea of emotions she sees there.

"I'm yours," he repeats quietly, fervently, and it settles inside her with a weight and a pride that she doesn't know if she'll ever outlive. And she doesn't want to. 

There were times in the past when she would have given anything to hear this from him. Times she was fully convinced she would, only to be let down, and times she was fully convinced she wouldn't, only for him to say something else later that reignited her hope. She's tried to cut him out of her, push him away, shut him out and turn him down. She's tried with all her might to find a way forward without him, but she never could. 

Because he's _hers_. A part of her, like she told Thomas, something inextricable and inevitable and inherent. The physical representation of the love she's been trying to curb all these years but that can finally be allowed to shine.

He's hers. And she's his. And finally they both know it at the same time, in the same way, together.


End file.
